twenty-something years of "what have you been up to?"

Political Remarks Removed

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Gina-Magoo, otherwise known as Almost Dr. Gina-Katrina PhD says, god Dina, you’re going to the poorest country in the world and you’re going to have 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms, domestics and a pool? And to this I say, well, Gina, it is a hardship post after all.

Mvc002x

My biggest fear is that I will be depressed and miss my mommy. I was terribly depressed after we moved from San Francisco, if I just thought about Filmore Street I felt actually sick. Even though Portland was glorious and the house is lovely and the kids were happy at school and Peter had a fabulous job and there are the best second-hand stores here ever. Now I can’t imagine how I can survive without Powells world of books at my fingertips, and the best public library. The Portland public library circulates the most books of any library in the country.

As much as I complain about work, it really turned Portland around for me up to have some: especially PBO and Hanna Andersson. Also, my french class was a life raft. There were many times it was the highlight of my week. Actually, it still is. Who has a coffee-club french class so fun they go for more than three years? Our teacher Steve is both charming and hilarious. Plus my friend Elisabeth is there, of Eastmoreland childhood fame, she gets more laughs out of a raised eyebrow than most people ever get. Friday mornings, around 9 am, Papaccino’s, until we put them out of business.

I hope after years of saying I wanted to be an expat, I don’t find myself feeling like I am wasting two years of my life in Niamey, Niger, West Africa. That’s the emotion I have when I get that depressed feeling. We left San Francisco, I found myself living in Portland, and why? I think I really hurt Peter’s feelings last year when we were in Paris and I said, “I feel like I’m wasting my life, by not living right here, in the 4th arrondissement.” What a weird concept. And just writing that makes me see how silly it sounds.

But I still will miss my mommy and the used book section at Goodwill–it’s huge!– and my funny friends.

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One response to “Political Remarks Removed”

  1. freckleface Avatar
    freckleface

    Hi, I’m Catherine. I found your blog through other FS blogs. I’m not in the FS myself (but hope to be some day).
    I just wanted to let you know that reading this post I understand EXACTLY how you feel about moving away from San Francisco to Portland (my move was from Western Massachusetts to Washington DC), feeling sick thinking of the place you left and worried that you’re wasting your life by being in the new place.
    About a year after moving to the DC area, I moved from Arlington to Alexandria and finally came around and started to like the DC area (well, Alexandria anyway, DC and especially Arlington still bother me from time to time). I’m still a bit worried that I’m wasting my time, but I can’t put my finger on why but the feeling is largely subsided anyhow. And honestly, as much as the travel bug wants me to pick up and move to the Eastern Europe or the west coast to see what it’s like there, or back to Massachusetts, or back to Africa, the content side of me loves my life in Alexandria and isn’t quite ready to leave it. Crazy, I know…. but from the sound of things you’re having a similar conflict with Portland.
    Also, I know the feeling of going to a place (like Paris, for example, or (ironically) for me Portland) and feeling that you “should” be living there, and anything else is just a waste of time. All I can chalk that up to is a serious case of wanderlust, which I suppose I was born with. I can’t manage to go anywhere without making “plans” to relocate there permanently! I suppose that’s a good sign, though, to be able to picture oneself happy anywhere and everywhere (especially good for the FS i assume). The adjustment period is rough though, because the downside of being happy everywhere is that leaving makes you sad.
    My latest “pick up and move” craze is Budapest, but probably because I’ve been reading up about it because I’ll be passing through on my way to vacation this summer. My permanent “must live there” places are Edinburgh (never even been) and Botswana (did my JYA there and really really want to return on a long term basis).
    Anyway, sorry for being so long-winded–it’s just so good to see someone else who has similar ways of thinking and worrying about these things.

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