twenty-something years of "what have you been up to?"

when the provider has a phobia

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As some of you know, I have a needle phobia. How embarassing is that? "Neener neener neener! The shot-giver can give it but he can't take it!" I have a history of getting overly anxious and passing out. I blame it all on my childhood dentist who was a shoemaker from Romania. He really did not change his profession very much. I have passed out numerous times since, gone to the light, and they tell me it isn't my time yet and I wake up (usually on the floor) feeling nauseous, sweating, and then throwing up with a splitting headache. "Sorry" always comes out between heaves. And there was that one time when I woke up with my pants down around my ankles with the needle still in my butt and the doctor's voice boomed out towards the nurses desk on the other side of the waiting room, "Nurse! He just fainted!" So much for patient confidentiality and the HIPAA laws.

Honestly, I am not afraid of the needle so it's not a true needle phobia. And I'm usually not afraid of the shot-giver although there have been a few impatient nurses with a zero-tolerance policy that seemed determined to call me a "panty ass" without quite saying so. What I'm really scared of is loosing consciousness again. Once I reach that point where I'm panicked and the ringing in the ears starts, there is no stopping me. I don't even have time to warn anybody.

But there is a redeeming quality to this. I am often told by patients that I am one of the best shot givers ever. I know all the tricks to minimize pain, distract, and reduce anxiety. Other phobics seek me out!

Personally, I let my own history be known to my practitioner and somewhere along the line I was introduced to Valium. Let's just say it was a sympathetic dentist who believed me when I warned him of the inevitable and he gave me the medicine to keep me calm before, during, and after the procedure. Now I dose myself an hour before based on the anticipated anxiety and viola! Dina leads me in there grinning and kind of points me in the right direction. I sit there drooling a bit like a dog staring at the anatomical charts on the wall as if they were pictures of steaks. I usually get a bit giddy at first, then emotional like,"No one has ever been this nice to me before," and then it's done and I'm grateful that I didn't swan dive or rag-doll off the exam table. Success!

Today was such a day. I got updated on my vaccinations. I've never had such a great team in the health unit before. Thanks guys!

Comments

5 responses to “when the provider has a phobia”

October 30, 2009

MamaLana

Good for you, Peter! Congrats on being vaccinated. I’m just the opposite. It’s almost weird; I feel nothing! I inject myself once a day with one medication and once a week with another and it’s easier for me than swallowing an aspirin. Maybe you could inject yourself?

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October 30, 2009

Tina

You definitely have me beat for a needlephobia. Poor you. I passed out once getting a vaccination at the US Sub Base in Groton.
I do OK if I don’t look when getting a shot or having blood drawn and I always tell the shooter no to let me see it (or the blood).
I could NEVER give a shot. That would make me faint.
Good that the magic pill helps you.

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October 30, 2009

Melissa

I love this entry, Peter. I can relate to it in ever aspect. I also found…when I warn the nurse that I “sometimes” faint before they give me the shot…then I end up not fainting. And when I don’t say anything to the nurse and tell myself, inside my head, this time I won’t faint…then I always do.
The worst was when I walked out of the office and fainted in the parkinglot. Last time I fainted was summer 2008 with my hep A vaccination. I woke up to a bottle of gatorade and an angry nurse telling me I should always warn them I might faint.

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October 30, 2009

JenniferMargulis@jeffnet.org

Glad you survived the vaccine ordeal Peter. I’d be curious to know what you opted to get? I’ve read diphtheria is a bigger problem in Russia than America… Was that on your list?

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October 30, 2009

mc

I know this story it’s still funny but it’s really not, good that you keep your sense of humor and figured it out. That is a great idea, have you ever did yourself, don’t forget warn yourself.

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