high school drama

When we put together our bid list last time, we put Bucharest fairly high. I made an appointment with the guy from the Office of Overseas Schools and he assured me that all the posts we were looking at had fine schools: Hong Kong is a no-brainer, but Sofia, Brussels, Colombo and Bucharest were all fine as well.

At the time of doing our research, Bucharest had a 15% hardship differential and we thought it would be perfect, at the end of our tour, we would extend for a year. Stefan would finish 8th grade and be ready to start high school when we moved and Camille would finish high school.

Then, from the summer of 2010, when we were researching posts, to 2011, when we got here, the differential went down to 5%. We were concerned about getting an extension to stay for Camille's last year, but we were reassured that others had gotten a "compassionate" extension with a rising 12th grader and we had two years before we could really worry about it. And maybe the post diff would go back up.

The post differential was re-evaluated while we were here, and it did go up–to 10%. Not the magic 15% we needed for an easy extension. But I wasn't too worried. Two other families, who arrived the year before we did, when the differential was still 15%, asked for extensions and got them–one specifically so their daughter could stay for 12th grade.

So we find ourselves in our second year and the time has come to ask for an extension. When we started the process, we were referred to some special services, because they said that if we had psycho-medical reasons, the argument to stay would be stronger.

We spent $10K (which will be reimbursed, but it hasn't happened yet) on a trip to London and a week's worth of evaluations for Camille. She's had such a hard time in math, which has also affected science. The testing helped us figure out that it's not because she's not smart, (quite the opposite) but rather that she's had gaps. Typical of a foreign service kid, she's moved so much–after 3rd grade, 5th grade and 8th grade–and now in 10th grade, the missing pieces make the big picture in math difficult.

We have gotten tutors for her off and on, and they've boosted her though some rough patches, but none have helped her improve her overall, long term skills in math.

The findings in London recommended that the best thing for Camille would be to stay in one spot for the last two years of school. Besides, the two-year IB program is seamless and starting the program in 11th grade in one school doesn't mean you can easily finish in 12th grade in another. After the testing was over, we reported our findings to the center that had recommended the testing.

They informed us that pretty much while we were getting the testing, the policy had changed and they no longer make recommendations for extensions.

The new system requires that Peter write directly to the Director General of the State Department and ask to stay one more year. Peter wrote and she said no, it would set a bad precedent. (Supporting families is terrible, I guess.) The DG asked why we hadn't curtailed immediately when we found out the differential had gone down. This had never occurred to us. So I guess one of the reasons I'm writing this is to warn people who are showing up at 5% differential posts, thinking they will get an extension with a rising 11th grader their last year. Maybe you will, but even with Ambassador, DCM, Management and Med support, we did not.

We considered having Peter do an AIP/war zone post– I could stay with the kids here that year, but they've all been spoken for in his position.

So now, with one week of school to go, we are trying to figure out what do with Camille who doesn't want to start the IB program at AISB and finish at our future mystery post.

We went and looked at two boarding schools. One wouldn't really work for Camille and the other will cost a zillion dollars–it's far more than the away-from-post allowance. Do I need to remind you that Peter works for the federal government? Just going and LOOKING at boarding schools costs a fortune.

So. Our choices:

a. Camille stays at a school she doesn't like that has not supported her and she transfers after 11th grade and does the last half of a two-year program that may not exist who-knows-where.

b. She goes to a wonderful, but wildly expensive boarding school that won't let her in the IB program because her math placement test was so dismal. And we stress about money for the next two years. (Interesting that AISB, the school here, will let her into the IB program regardless of her poor math performance.)

c. We keep searching for another just as good, but less expensive school, with most deadlines long past.

Heavy, heavy sigh. I feel like I've failed my kid.