It wasn't cold nor warm out, but grey and cloudy with overcast. Our small group met to go to the Sandunovskih, the oldest and most famous bath house in Moscow. Chaliapin once said, "It is the only real banya in Moscow."
We walked to the Baricadnaya metro and cautiously step onto the speed escalator which moves fast down a steep angle. The people coming up the other side all look like they are leaning backwards at a 45 degree angle. We board the train and it takes off, feeling as if we are traveling 100 miles an hour. Everything about the metro seems fast. We exit at Kuznitski most and check our bearings. Everything looks different when you come up out of the metro to an unfamiliar stop.
The banya is well maintained. The building is old but the interior looks like it was remodeled in the late 70's, maintaining the ornate 19th century details. The men are separated from the women and we are offered three tiers of banya; the public banya on the main floor, the deluxe on the second floor (more prestigious), and the superior one on the third floor with a big swimming pool under skylights (for the elite communist party members in its hay day). The girls venture off in their direction and we select the mid-tier banya on the second floor.
We enter a lobby with booths. We select one and are asked if we need hats, slippers, or towels. I answer "yes" to all but we only get the towels and slippers. Men are lounging wrapped in towels, drinking beer and coming out of the baths through swinging doors. We go inside and shower off. Then there are choices of a small warm water pool, a very cold pool, and a cool bucket with a cord to pull and drench yourself with. I pulled the cord and the bucket delivered a cold hypothermic shock to my head and body. My companions followed suit. Too breathless to talk, we entered the sauna. A naked man with a felt hat and gloves was throwing ladles of water into a brick stove. Other men were sitting on wood benches at various heights. It seemed incredibly hot and difficult to breathe.
We didn't last long the first time. I could see how drunk Russians could die in there. It was like hell but voluntary. The stoker got up on a bench and started swirling the heat which instantly came down to our lower level. One of my companions had the smarts to walk out and we followed. Quickly getting oxygenated, we hopped into the cold pool, a very good way to drown. But once we got out, it was surprisingly refreshing. The whole body tingles. We then found our way into the warm bath.
Back in the lounge, we ordered a draft Siberian Corona. Some men around us dozed. Others ordered food and beer. Others talked or watched a sporting event on a big screen TV. Relaxed, we went back in and cycled through the cold bucket, steam sauna, cold and finally warm pool. The hot sauna seemed more tolerable the second time round. I think it was actually cooling down because the third time in, the stoker started increasing the heat again. Some men took wet birch branches that were soaking in buckets by the pools and began flogging themselves. One was shouting incomprehensible words that sounded like yelps. We flogged each other which actually felt kind of good. Feeling the temperature rising again, we finished our third round in the sauna and headed back to the lounge to finish our cold refreshing beer.
Leaving the banya, overall we felt relaxed and agreed that it was a worthwhile experience. I doubt I'll join the elite club on the top floor. But one of those freezing cold winter days in January maybe the ideal time to come back and warm up, or cool down.
twenty-something years of "what have you been up to?" 